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Making It Work for Your Family in a COVID-19 World

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now I'm going to go through this really quickly just talking about the behavior strategies now that your child is home with you everyday give them positive feedback go over rehearse could be okay focus on the little things before they become big things be consistent with expectations and consequences and then I'm going to leave number one as a secret for last so you're positive feedback we have two children you're on the phone and your child is like Mom I got to ask you a question mean while your son is sitting down eating at the kitchen table that's what's a solution using positive don't say Maria sit down like you want and stop interrupting me don't say that positive feedback was that look like don't pay attention to Maria pay attention to Jamar it's so nice to see you reading Juwan I can't wait to hear all about your book when you do that then Maria will know that she's not supposed to be doing what she's doing so we're going to focus on positive feedback not negative what's the other thing you can do role-play Behavior trouble spots before it happens let's go back to what we just talked about right so let's say that your child is not checking the schedule your child sees that you're on and they're interrupting you rather than checking to see when you're available to help them what's the solution before that happens I want you to be an actress and say okay Pretend We're going to focus on how do we know what the right thing is to do when you need help and you're going to act like your child and your child's going to act like the mom and you're going to run over to your child need to say hey Mom I need help that's the wrong way you're going to need to ask that out you're going to say is that the right way and your child is going to take note that's the wrong way and then you going to say let's try it again then you're going to role-play the right way and your child he's going to need help and they're going to write down a note you want to write it down and then if they hear mom going to give you a note and you're not going to go back and sit down and that he will say did I do it right and your child yes so your child will know the right way because you are going to make you going to act it out before it happens and when you do that then your child will know what to do when that situation happens another thing don't just blow off little things pay attention to the little things and give consequences for the little things so that they don't build up the big things here's an example mister I went to the front door to get a game from a friend who lives down the street you can't do that remember this is covid-19 this is a coronavirus time and you need to practice social distancing so don't say don't do that again don't give any warning give a consequence so that means that's not a big deal she just went to the door she didn't go to the playground but it is a big deal if a consequence or something small so what won't go away something in the last one is your salad dad handled his son Corey not doing homework or study didn't do homework early bedtime for a week the second time he didn't do his homework know Spider-Man you know you supposed to do your homework but didn't get my car the third time he was supposed to say he didn't do his homework you got a spanking or some people call it a whooping which I do not recommend that can be a subject of another video and maybe maybe you don't agree with me but we can talk about it and the fourth time again no consequence that's a problem you know why Corey probably going to do at the is probably just got this going to be some other time Corey doesn't do you know why because there's no consistency way with it sometimes he gets one consequence time to get another consequence you have to be consistent whatever you say are your consequences that should be it and got to give him every time if your child thinks sometimes they can do it and it'll be okay and sometimes I'll be okay they're going to take that chance trying to help you and number one run roll please connection connection to the high five in the hug that's important right you want to always connect with your child so daily love ritual and the Snapchat chats end of the day after school so that you can connect with them when you connect with your children you will help them to be better at academics better at Athletics better at the Arts and a better activist so that's the number one thing connection Connection in before we go remember to focus right now life is tougher than usual right now it really so I'll try to do too much you see this car right here you see all these bumper stickers on this car not a person is confused they got too much going on and I don't want you to talk to what's going on because that's going to make you just more irritable is going to make you more stressed out and I want you to be as stress-free as possible during this time I know I can't eliminate your stress but we can move it down the ladder don't try to do too much right now give yourself some Grace know that you're doing your best no you're fine hard okay don't try to do too much this is our last slide and it is very very very important based on what I was just talking about what are we talking about right here it is self care we have to put on our masks each day that's a picture of me and a friend of mine from Spelman College where I went to college she makes his mask and we know when kitten covid-19 we have to wear a mask will you have to wear another Mass not just the physical Mass but you how to do things that are your mask and that's the way that you're going to be able to make it through this listen up the first thing you need to do at least three of these five things every day just arrived three out of five. here's one of them you have to get a spiritual practice you have to meditate you have to practice mindfulness or you have to pray if you if religion a spirituality is part of your life to do one of these things meditation if that's the thing you are that you feel okay about doing mindfulness okay get the cop get an app where you can just call because LeBron James is on the Calm app okay processing mindfulness or again you can pray that's one thing that you can do meditation mindfulness or prey the second thing walk for 20 minutes get out there you need to be in the sun sun makes you feel better Sun gives you Vitamin D it helps you to fight any problems that may come your way even the Coronavirus it's based on research and tell me the truth y'all and walking will clear your head and it will make you feel better back tooth aches meditate or what what's the third thing talk with family or friends everyday I get on the phone for 5 minutes or get talk to somebody at home social distancing but talk with family or friends because it will make you feel better it will make you feel and that's it better about your life what's the four thing you got to eat fruits aunt on my fresh fruits you got to have veggies and don't cook them too long as you want them to be nice and fresh and you have to have some lean Pro what do I mean not too much fat on the meat you can have some chicken you can have some turkey you can have some fresh fish try not to buy all this stuff now you can have some tofu or vegetarian you can have some beans for you have to eat to give your body fuel you're not going to put water in your gas tank cuz the car is not going anywhere to put water in it and make any sense and you have to put the right Foods in your body order for you to feel good in the last name sleep 7 hours a night 7 is heaven when you sleep okay I know a lot of times we can't get that much sleep but you got to fight for it you have to fight for yourself because you are worth it put on that mask then you are ready to save and help your children and anyone else in your family that's three out of five to thrive you might not get to all of them every day got to do at least okay this has been a wonderful class I am so grateful for the time with you I hope that this time is being helpful and you do have a package every single one of these next steps that you can know what to do next thank you so much for your time and we will see each other again

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